Monday, March 30, 2009

Phew !

After some 2 hours of extreme hard work, I have finally (yet again!) changed the template of my blog :) Hurray !

I was facing some minor problems, which hopefully I wouldn't be facing further. To my dismay this theme, had all the instructions in Spanish and all the major terms, headers in the same language so it took me a while to grasp the words and follow the rules. There are certain things still I wish to change (Like the name of the designer at the front) but sigh, now I am not able to and am too tired to try new things. I am happy with what I see, and well .. nothing else matters !!

An afternoon well spent, with no piled up thing to do ! I had to meet a friend later, but she has cancelled the plan and that leaves me 'FREE' after a loong long time ! I was thinking of taking a good nap, considering the fact that after few days that luxury would be terminated..but then I had better things to do after coming online. So, here I am !

There wouldn't be any fooling for me a few days later. My first job here starts on 1st April, 2009. I am looking forward to it. At the same time, there are so many apprehensions and emotions flowing. Questions my mind keeps on asking, answers I fathom get. Though, I am glad I would be back to some routine after almost 2 months of joblessness. I intend to follow a good diet and follow some exercise routine (Please please please, let me stick to that , this time atleast) It's so amazing how anything new gets along so many new hopes and ideas in our little minds. Fresh new beginnings. Fresh new day. Fresh new thoughts.

Things would be different. My idle mind would get other things to think about. I hopefully will be over some redundant negative thoughts I have been getting since the past few months. New things will push over the old ones. I am also glad for the fact that it's not an early morning job :) I will need to start by 9 am, and also , I wouldn't be traveling by the Mumbai locals. Well, god has his own way of pampering the lazy bums he likes :D Speaking of which reminds me, I visited a temple after months. I felt good. But somewhere within a deep fire is still burning, which fills those eyes with rage and heart with denial. I need to get over certain things, still. I need to and the good thing is I am trying.

Three months ago, I was debating with self over the idea of going back home. Today, I see the decision turning out to be a good one. Realities are thrown right in front of my face. I live in what it is. Bare facts. No fabrication. No imaginations. I do not feel 'hopeless' and 'helpless'. I have once again reconfirmed the meaning of the word ' content'. People have different priorities in life, and they have ways by which they keep a track of the things they wish to follow. I have my own. Looking back, I am not going to regret this decision, a bit. The tide flowed my way, the ride has been well not exactly rosy, but worth the hurdles I crossed. I had been tagged ' crazy' , 'emotional', 'not practical'., I would still be called all that. But then, I am what I am. And events, things happening in my life, have not changed me a bit. I have come out as the same me. With a stronger resolve to face the world, face life and doing it against all odds. I remember while leaving, I had a great feeling since I was doing something that everyone else was opposed to. It was a nice feeling to do something which everyone feels you cannot/should not do. I did it. I did. At times in life, the least trodden path can be long, can be filthy, but if that's what shows you the light at the end of the journey, be it. And as I write this today, all I can feel are those tears in my eyes, when my plane took off from the Logan International Airport, Boston on 17th January, 2009. The setting sun, its shadow over the ocean .... the feeling! John Denver roamed in my mind then and he does now ....

Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go....

I will never regret this. I will never forget this. Something's are just meant to be. May be my destiny got me here. May be I will go back. But then, I know this when it mattered the most, I listened to my heart. And it helped. Someway, it did.


I am trying to organize my wardrobe today. That feeling of 'lack of time' after work starts is looming over once again , and it has never been so great a feeling :) I am liking this ....

Mom, are you listening?

1 comment:

Rambler said...

finally I can navigate directly to a post from my reader :)

you know what it is ok to regret..I think its too much to ask for all our decisions to be right what if we make them wrong, we learn do we..I know I am sounding a bit negative and your post was all being positive, but then I know the doubts associated with the decisions, and am I happy that you feel great about what you chose for yourself..and thats the most important thing you know, you chose it for you