Winning hearts...

How easy it is? Or rather difficult?

Let's weave a story with words...would that suffice?

Would ending with "happily ever after" create a sense of curiousity and excitedness enough to let them sigh and drool. And let us win their heart...?

Let's weave a story for a child of every age. Let's concentrate on the gravity of each word said, and then,  sentences and paragraphs so strongly put together, would lead to nothing, but, win their hearts!

Let's create a graphical journey...because a picture says a thousand words. Show the setting sun, the splashes of waves, and the chirping birds. Let's put them in the foreground and let them imagine for themselves - how wonderful it might be...and win their hearts?

And if everything else fails...let's just put them together. In a cubicle full of coffee aroma. Let them realize the depth of understanding. If silence, awkward glances, and muted conversations would dwell something within them, we would know we have won their hearts...

A friend narrates her story or journey to finding the perfect groom. And she would vote 5 stars for this :)

He looked out of the window and the sky resembled his mood.
Filled with fury, dark with vengeance and yet not able to cry.
His heart hurt over the desires unfulfilled and the promises broken.

The straying gray hair on her jacket and the cigarette smoke on her breath...
The late night hours and the cancelled plans with him...
 He did not have the heart to confront her...it was something that they both knew and yet didn't know.

Walking over his thoughts, she entered the room with a coffee for him and smiled.
Ages ago, this smile and the sugarless coffee had won him over
And today, it did too...

The simple things in life are easy, he decided to be stuck with those.

Why fret?

...over the rising costs? Over the long list of to-do's? Over the escalating grocery rates? Or the cost one has to pay to buy a matchbox of a flat? Over the weight on the head and the pile on the office desk?

Stop. See the clear sky above. Smell the roses. Dance and cook. Live a fret-free life, as it was meant to be!

You and I

In this beautiful world

Green grass & blue sky!

Sometimes in life, this is all one wants! And needs!

What if all those words, in those romantic numbers singing pyaar, dil, and all of that mushy stuff, starts making sense One Fine Day?

Will I scream? Get scared? Nervous? Or smile? Blush? And sigh? And shrug shoulders? Nod my head? Go all pinky pink...

*Sigh*

I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence," and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me. 

---Melvin Udall, As good as it gets

She knows. Deep within. This is what she wants. This is what that will make her heart go waltz..on a simple street, no matter the weather, no matter if she is in her PJs, no nothing would matter. Even after hearing this...feeling this...she is being stalled by something. Will she know what? Why is her conscience not confronting her and asking her to move forward. Why is she taking her time? Will she hear this again...? Will it be the same? Devotion and nicety. Will it?

Oh, the questions! And the blank wall for answers. And a tumultuous applause is being played by the thoughts in the brain. Each tugging ahead of each other. Which thought will move forward and win the place to be at the tip of her tongue? Or will they never form words? Will the words give rise to a feeling? Or should she WAIT...

I believe...

...Yes, I will be happy again. Because sometimes I think, I am enough for myself. I will never let myself get bored. The spark, vibrancy, the me, should not change even if I were to live alone, lead alone. Alone, not alone in true sense, but alone if one plus one were not to add to two. 

Ho hum!

She has a dream. A dream which is not too elusive nor too easy to interpret or get done with.
All the songs on the playlist titled "Bheege din" "Tanha raat" "Romantic numbers" "Goood moood"
bring some meaning in life, finally.
Not exactly, the word to word, verabtim, meaning....but the songs do come to life.
Not real life, but life that she knows, she understands.
These songs will hold true. They will hold meaning much more than she thought they will.
A tune which has been in mind, the words that have been plasted to her lips and mind, she knows how it feels...and then finally, one day, she will know what they mean.

Oh, the feeling!
At least then, she will stop nagging people with questions like "Who was the first person you thought about when you heard that song?" "Do you really think about him/her when you hear this particular song?"
And the likes.

Blush blush

How many, no really, how many of you females out here have got this...

"I want a male version of you"

from your BFFs or FFs...
???

I have got quite a many of those...
And unfortunately, the ratio of getting this line from the female sex is not equally proportionate with the male sex.

But even then, life is good.

:)

The mighty might!

He might not be the tall dark handsome.
He might not be well read, based on your standards.
His conversations might not be that intellectually stimulating.
He might not be the brightest of the kids in school, not one of the top rankers like may be you were.
He might not have a huge herd of friends having similar interests as you.
He might not like dancing, singing, both of them together, or either of them too much.
He might not even be a bathroom singer.
He might not have any hobbies per se, or even excel in anything in particular.
He might would not have seen places or worse still, might not like travelling as much you.
He might not have taste buds that he would wish to tickle every now and then, like you.
He might not like long drives, or worse still, he might not know driving!
He might snore at night, or worse still can't sleep when you snore!
He might not have a GREAT sense of humour, or may be forgets to laugh at yours.


But may be, you will still like him. You will still find solace when in his company. May be, you will be happy with things. May be, you will find the incompleteness complete. May be, you did not really actually expect so much. May be, you realize, he is the metaphor called life, as real as it gets.

He might not know horse riding, but one day you will still see your knight in shining armour coming sitting over one. And that day, all the mighty mights would lose all the weight.

*sigh*

"The Quiet World" by Jeffrey McDaniel

In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond,
I know she’s used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

Just another post...

I had a terrible tiresome day yesterday. I do not like the 'self' that I get converted to, when I am doing something outta the box. humfff !!! People tell me, the more I get scared due to that, more they will take advantage of this.

But come on, come to think about it...I am 24, can I change now???? (yeah, ok - I can, may be...errrr)

Neways, I like the way I am able to post today,while at work. I like the fact that I listen to music so often these days (Reason for those lyrical posts these days) and I like the fact that I am able to read so regularly these days. I recently finished a book by Saadat Manto, a very famous urdu writer. I wish to write so much about that book, and all the wonderfully compiled short stories!! Currently. I am reading Amitav Ghosh's The Hungry Tide. And next on the shelf is Persepolis, a graphic novel. I had started reading this particular book some 8 months ago, and left it half way. Finally, shall finish it!!

Lots more happening, lots more to write. Time nahin hain yaar !!!
But I am glad I write least a one line post rather than visiting this dear space after weeks.

Kindly await a long post!

Question for the day : Why do some people have such sweet smile, that when they flash one of those 'smiles' you feel that you just have been de-based ! You feel like some chocolate being melted rite in front of you, and you feel so eternally happy :)

And oh by the way, just read these lines...so wonderfully written....

Saasein kho gayi hai kiski aahon mein,
Mein kho gayi hu jaane kiski baahon mein,
Manzilon se raahein doodhti chali,
Kho gayi hai manzil kahin rahon mein..

I hate you...and then I love you...it's like I want to throw you off a cliff....then rush to the bottom to catch you!!!

Past is to be forgotten...when will i realise this ?

Today is a gift...that is why it is called a present !

How many of us know this, and how many of us actually follow this ?

We crib for our past, and worry about our future .... and in the process at times spoil our present. Ok, this all is just a way that i am trying to console myself...

Why am i yet not over certain things in life ? Why do i want to care for people who don't bother for me. I remember in tenth standard, i had joined this personality development class and i had to give a speech about myself at the end of the course, and i began mine with saying.." I am a very level-headed person .. i live with this funda in life, of caring for someone only as much as they care for me..and in the process...i end up hurting and expecting less and may be more happy than others at the end ! "

Wow !! And this speech did give me an A grade for the entire course ! where is that level-headednesss gone i ask !? where !?

Its been 8 years since then, not too far ...may be too far... why have i become so emotional a person in the long run ?? why can't i forget ..and move on....

This new friend of mine...has hurt me for sure. He never bothered about my feelings now when i come to think about it. All these months, seem to be one of my foolish acts to me, of trying to be his friend and may be even considering him my close friend. Oh god, how could i be so wrong in judging people ?

How ?? and why ???

Why does i always run out of luck when it comes to good friends?

I don't want a bunch of them, i have a very few of them and am happy with my own sweet world..but i really thought that i could have added one more to the list. I not only did the mistake of thinking it this way, but also made the mistake of selecting the wrong guy !! I mean with what audacity he even asked me a few questions ?? What the heck does he even think of himself ?! I am not fucking bothered about him, but i do care for my feelings...and today am hurt ! The same person whom you thought was one of your good friend, turns out to be someone whom you almost hate, whom you no longer wish to communicate with, whom you no longer wish to see, whom you no longer think even as a friend, who is no more the same guy whom u considered a friend..who is way lot more selfish, way too mean, way big liar, those kinds people..who forget others when things change in their lives ! I mean with what brains did i even think that he might be a good guy !

I am not sad about the fact that i lost him...if he is the type of person whom i know now...than i am glad he is no more friend. But, why i commit these mistakes so often and end up hurting myself at the end. Didn't i decide long back that i am gonna care for people only as much as they care for me !?

Then where did that attitude disappear ?!

Where !? ???

I better find it back before i get more hurt by some other human species in this very life time, and i really dont wanna get hurt again..cos OUCH !! IT really freaking hurts !

Mind....

Its all in your mind...
How many times have we heard this or least felt it ?! It's all up there...how we think, how we feel...everything is controlled by this wonderful masterpiece...mind !
Alright, so right now i am suffering from verbal diarrhea, i wish to convey so many things, so many thoughts, so many weird stuff....i just wanna do that !!! It's like even when i am typing this, i am pushing the keys of my keyboard so hard...i hate this disease...but am glad i have the remedy in the form of this blog !!

Phases of life - when nothing goes right, when everything goes wrong, when things just dont happen the way you want them to happen !!
Reactions - Panic, panic , panic !!
Controller/ Relief - Mind !!

Yeah its true! People or read Friends can help you out by talking to you and making you feel good but its upto you how you take it and how you imply the sweet things they say and actually make something constructive outta it !! I am one of those - i feel- whom my friends can/do reach at any hour of the day seeking for advice or any sort of topic ! I am not too sure about my rating from the other end, but i somehow feel i give good advice !! Well, by good ones i mean here, something which can least calm them down at that particular hour - i try to be subtle if need be or i try to be assertive if situation says so ! Its all like - wisdom comes for me when its for matters related to others ! Yesterday this friend calls me up at 12 am , a panic call types...she tells me her sad story - sobs- boyfriend-sobs-job-sobs-roomies-sobs- missing home-sobs !! Well, and i was as assertive as i could be, explained what she needs to do now, how she can come out of it , you know the soothing types conversation !! And i am assuming that she was ok later. I will definitely give her a call back soon and follow up with her too regarding this, but its so amazing when it comes to giving advice to others !! As i said, i consider myself good cos not everyone on this very planet likes to gives advice and fucking care like what's going on in others life !? More so, cos people have their own troubles - solving someone else's come way later !! My sis calls me granny !! She thinks that i act like one when it comes to this and yeah even she admits that i am good at it !! and trust me, if she says so...i hell am !

So, the point of talking all that crap was - why cant i follow my own advice ?!????
I mean, ok -so even i am in problem - hurt by near friends - sob - no job - sob - graduating - sob- no money-sob - so many changes in life - sob - missing hommme - sob !!!!
So how the hell am i supposed to come outta all this ?? Why do i give people a chance to hurt me ? Why cant i get over certain people who have already hurt me once ?? Why cant i just leave those people outta my small sweet world ?? Why i fucking care so much for certain people who dont even deserve a freaking micro milli second of my life ??? Why cant i get a job on time ??? Why cant i just be patient and let things happen as they are ??? I am not supposed to design my destiny so let things happen as they ought to ??? When i came here i knew i would be away from dear ones, then why cry over it now ??? Money is nothing - and i have friends whom i can rely on for a few months of job less ness !! and why panic from now ???? Everyone in this freaking god damn world lies and hurts - either get over it, or keep on brooding over it !! Why i always select the later ??

So, do i have answers for all these questions ?? I tried to keep myself in the advice taker position - and tried to make some sense outta all the things happening as of now in my life !! Situation demands me to be patient - not lose hope and faith- not let things crush me down - trust god !!! Well, i hope i can do all of them and not crib about the future so much and try to enjoy the last month as a student here in usa .... Oh yeah my DREAMS @ USA !!! Finally seeing the end of it ... will be fun !! Oh , did i tell you guys - i am wearing those black robes on May 2nd, 2008 !!!! Yep yep - i am graduating !
hurraaaaaaaaay !!!!!

Well, that is about it. I pray that my mind becomes strong and not feeble and i can actually see a lot more clear picture about my future then. As i said, its all in the mind....if i could actually practice what i preach or in this case, actually think the way i think i should think... i will have a much longer way to go !!!

Hmmm........
Adios till then.....

I wish i could sing this for someone....

I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!

All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!

I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.

All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!

Have i done the right thing?

Ummm.....
Does one do the right thing when one tells the feelings within, love or hate......!!
Dont i do justice to my feelings and myself...i least dont have to be something else or act like i love or hate the person in front of the person...for the person then least knows that he/she is liked or hated by me !
I strongly believe in this funda...like/hate someone as much as the other person does..!
And you wont get hurt living this funda cos you see each and every person by this measuring scale..
But problem comes when, you start liking someone more than the other person likes you...!!!