Is it merely being with someone? Or probably talking a lot - meaningful conversations of course! Or is merely finding solace with yourself? Does company really matter? Can one ever be alone and yet not feel lonely?
Random thoughts such as this hit my mind whenever I go to a secluded place to read my book. Generally, it happens at a time when I have reached at such a stage of the book that I can't wait to find - what next?
I mean I am so happy at that time - orgasmic level kinds. I do not care what is around me. What engulfs me is a feeling that I cannot probably describe in words. At times when I turn around and see the world around me, I probably realize I am the only who is sitting alone and having a smile on my face...there will be families/couples/friends all around me, and looking glee...do I also need this companionship? I cannot live with a book, right? But what if the book is providing me the words and the worlds that I yearn to hear and see? Do I still need anything else?
This of course becomes a question of retrospection. We can't be with books all the time, I am somehow able to squeeze time to read books in my fast life - that's an accomplishment. I will not be (hopefully not) able to have time to read books all the time. What then? Where will I find companionship...where will I look to see a different world? Where will I find the different sunrise and the promised sunset?
And then comes people. Do they belong to the idea of togetherness? I doubt if anything can replace a hearty and healthy laugh that I have over a stupid joke! This can happen with people. The physical distance that is necessary to make you feel warm and comfortable. People who make you smile...people who make you believe in yourself. People who make you , you. The ones with the positive vibes, infectious enthusiasm, and the endless comfort around them....how can one not feel together with them? People you love, the slight touch, the tight hug, and the joyful banter...they also fit the idea of togetherness.
But then there are also people with whom you spend more number of hours than anybody...and yet feel so lonely? The 1 + 1 never becomes 2 with them. You laugh. you smile. you hug. you cry. But there is a void. All emotions and feelings lack the meaning of being those. You are not true to them or the world. The void revolves around you; like death to a comatose. How can one replace that feeling? Will that be like - being together and not yet so? Can that be called togetherness?
Will togetherness be all about - you and someone. or is something more. The loved feeling that pets give...people do not feel lonely with them in spite of them being mute. Because they can show emotions - warmth and love. Is this what humans want? The emotions and feelings more than words and conversations.
I need my words....I need my conversations. And may be I need that someone to complete that togetherness...
And if I do not receive those, Would books come in handy at those times? Would some good music to my ears help?