Wednesday, January 9, 2008

12 days later......

So my last post was all about cribbing for the fact that i got a NO for the internship !! 12 days later things are worse....or least my mind is making me think that way !
So, i celebrate the new year's party, i celebrate things like nothing has happened ! Try to behave normal, cool , calm and composed. When my mind is thinking sensibly, i realise the fact that i am overreacting. I am not the only person in this world to get rejection, and for me the case aint that that bad, since i can still legally survive in USA without getting the H1 visa for the next 14 months...cases i have known which are far more worse than mine ! I dont want to use a comparing scale at the moment but the fact remains that i failed in implementing my plans. I gave my 100%, things didn't work out my way .... i did a grave mistake by trying to finish my course soon, i shouldnt have done that , my pressure of graduating in may wouldnt have increased then .... i dont want to regret this thing again since i know it doesnt help of thinking about things that i shouldnt have done ! At the moment, i have so many things to think about at the present...that i dont know how do i gather myself !
The smallest of the wrong things happen, and i feel that its the worst phase of my life that i am going through...defining small, if i get up 30 mins late than the time the alarm snoozed off....oh boy ! my panic alarm starts ringing in the brain.... i am having difficulty in juggling between so many things to do !! I am fed up of the fact that i am not able to give my 100% to either of the responsibilities that i have undertaken !! The fact that i am not able to keep myself content mentally is bothering me to eternity...... i have never lost hope so easily...but now things are way beyond reach !
Tommorow is the last day to register for my 1credit and i have no clue for which course i am going to register !!! Countless number of emails to professors doesnt yield anything, not even an appointment time !!! Why just things cant go a bit smoothhhhh ! Why !!!!!!!
God, get me through this...i know its the time for me to be patient and not lose it all...this is the testing times of my life that i have to keep my cool and not lose hopes or question my abilities...come rain or shine...i have to be myself...and prove it to myself and a bit to the world what's my real forte !
Oh god, please give me the strength...

No comments: