Friday, March 21, 2008


Its all in your mind...
How many times have we heard this or least felt it ?! It's all up we think, how we feel...everything is controlled by this wonderful masterpiece...mind !
Alright, so right now i am suffering from verbal diarrhea, i wish to convey so many things, so many thoughts, so many weird stuff....i just wanna do that !!! It's like even when i am typing this, i am pushing the keys of my keyboard so hard...i hate this disease...but am glad i have the remedy in the form of this blog !!

Phases of life - when nothing goes right, when everything goes wrong, when things just dont happen the way you want them to happen !!
Reactions - Panic, panic , panic !!
Controller/ Relief - Mind !!

Yeah its true! People or read Friends can help you out by talking to you and making you feel good but its upto you how you take it and how you imply the sweet things they say and actually make something constructive outta it !! I am one of those - i feel- whom my friends can/do reach at any hour of the day seeking for advice or any sort of topic ! I am not too sure about my rating from the other end, but i somehow feel i give good advice !! Well, by good ones i mean here, something which can least calm them down at that particular hour - i try to be subtle if need be or i try to be assertive if situation says so ! Its all like - wisdom comes for me when its for matters related to others ! Yesterday this friend calls me up at 12 am , a panic call types...she tells me her sad story - sobs- boyfriend-sobs-job-sobs-roomies-sobs- missing home-sobs !! Well, and i was as assertive as i could be, explained what she needs to do now, how she can come out of it , you know the soothing types conversation !! And i am assuming that she was ok later. I will definitely give her a call back soon and follow up with her too regarding this, but its so amazing when it comes to giving advice to others !! As i said, i consider myself good cos not everyone on this very planet likes to gives advice and fucking care like what's going on in others life !? More so, cos people have their own troubles - solving someone else's come way later !! My sis calls me granny !! She thinks that i act like one when it comes to this and yeah even she admits that i am good at it !! and trust me, if she says so...i hell am !

So, the point of talking all that crap was - why cant i follow my own advice ?!????
I mean, ok -so even i am in problem - hurt by near friends - sob - no job - sob - graduating - sob- no money-sob - so many changes in life - sob - missing hommme - sob !!!!
So how the hell am i supposed to come outta all this ?? Why do i give people a chance to hurt me ? Why cant i get over certain people who have already hurt me once ?? Why cant i just leave those people outta my small sweet world ?? Why i fucking care so much for certain people who dont even deserve a freaking micro milli second of my life ??? Why cant i get a job on time ??? Why cant i just be patient and let things happen as they are ??? I am not supposed to design my destiny so let things happen as they ought to ??? When i came here i knew i would be away from dear ones, then why cry over it now ??? Money is nothing - and i have friends whom i can rely on for a few months of job less ness !! and why panic from now ???? Everyone in this freaking god damn world lies and hurts - either get over it, or keep on brooding over it !! Why i always select the later ??

So, do i have answers for all these questions ?? I tried to keep myself in the advice taker position - and tried to make some sense outta all the things happening as of now in my life !! Situation demands me to be patient - not lose hope and faith- not let things crush me down - trust god !!! Well, i hope i can do all of them and not crib about the future so much and try to enjoy the last month as a student here in usa .... Oh yeah my DREAMS @ USA !!! Finally seeing the end of it ... will be fun !! Oh , did i tell you guys - i am wearing those black robes on May 2nd, 2008 !!!! Yep yep - i am graduating !
hurraaaaaaaaay !!!!!

Well, that is about it. I pray that my mind becomes strong and not feeble and i can actually see a lot more clear picture about my future then. As i said, its all in the mind....if i could actually practice what i preach or in this case, actually think the way i think i should think... i will have a much longer way to go !!!

Adios till then.....

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