Thursday, December 11, 2008

"In the midst of winter, I finally learned
that there was in me an invincible summer."

-Albert Camus


I think I am not confused any more.
I think I have taken a decision
Me thinks it is the right one
Me thinks, I am done being wrong
I think I would be fine
Decisions are tough, but once taken...I will be fine
Me thinks I will support you !

"Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more
This ever changing world pushes me through another door" muahhh...Richard Marx !


* A love letter *

I would have been so wrong If I were to tell you that I had not been thinking about you since the time we started exchanging those string of mails. And I really would be wrong, if I were to tell you that I just mailed you out of the blue. Truth is, I had been thinking about you, though not regularly, but yes every now and then ! And today, you tell me that you loved me, and you have always loved me !!! You definitely catch me off the guard, but sometimes, some important words like these are to be said, and not always understood ! But then, I think it this way, may be you are the one who doesn't know how to juggle with words and emotions. I want to assume that words failed you when you tried to express your feelings to me.

But then, you also say something like *rebound* ----"OUCH" that hurts!! The fact is, if you really consider me a good human being as you put it, you can't imagine a good human being to come back crying to you, since she didn't find anything else. That would be so wrong. I *do* need you, and I don't hate myself for saying that, for feeling it. But the way you see it, it's different. I hope you don't think of me that way, since I do not find anyone else I come back to you !! World is a much bigger place dear, and let me tell you ... I have definitely many people to come back to ..and if i were to come back, among those lot I choose you ! And don't think yourself so low. For matters of heart, its only the 'heart' that matters. Love doesn't evaporate after a year or two of being together. It never had and it never will. Love lasts forever and I want my love to last forever too ! Money and power will come and go. At the end of the day, what I would have would be you and only you ! And that 'Us' will make wonders for years altogether !

We can only inspire each of us to become better and more complete within ourselves, if we let it. I don't want to become dependent on you, and I know you don't want to become dependent on me . Like the song says, I want us to carry each other. But, dammit, I *do* like you. I would wanna say, that I will love you forever, once I am strong enough to accept my feelings for you . And here, I don't say *I love you* since it hurts more , when after loving you things wouldn't work out between us ! Don't be submissive each time, don't give up on me or this relationship so easily and accept things as they are...Don't move on !! I want you to fight with me for this to work out. I want us to want this so badly, that there is no other option for this , but to work !

I'm not exactly the best fish in the proverbial ocean. But I *can* promise you this: if you are You - if you are, indeed, my soulmate - if you are the other half of everything I have ever hoped and dreamed and prayed and screamed and ached for, and if I am yours - then there is nothing within my power I would never do for you, and no depth to which I would not love you.

Let's pray that this distance that we have, dissolves as time goes by. And we do what we can to reduce the communication gap and things work out in our way. They would, certainly, if we want them to ! Please join hands with me in this one !!!

Amen !! :P


I would soon be a better me, where I would be firm and reasonably a better person ! Logic would never take a run, and imagination will always cover my back. I would unleash the better me, soon.... May be, new year will get new hopes and the new me. But then, I thought the same things when the Hindu calendar new year started. Dammit! Why can't it just happen? I wanna think that it will happen this year ! Yes , it will.
2008, was just not my year ..... just not mine !!!!!!
Did I not read the horoscope of the year for Virgos ??? Tsk Tsk...I missed the whole point, I wouldn't have been cribbing so much had I just known, this year, it wasn't meant to be !

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