Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Oops !!! I did it again.....

DANG!! I did it again...

I wonder why I get verbal diarrhea in front of a new crowd and then suffer the consequences--worse than bed rest!

Its been almost 2 months since I am working at this new workplace of mine and yesterday, I did it again. Those lunch conversations we have, office colleagues, has a wide spectrum. Most often than not, we have heated conversations leading to a sudden lull since some or the other person is hurt by some strong views/reviews.

Now, I do not understand, why do you participate in such conversations if you are not going to respect people's view on certain things!!? You gotta accept things if people are hearing yours...or even accepting yours! No, this does not make my mistake seem smaller, but this is just a point i always wonder about !

I have this wonderfully gross habit of using harsh words like 'hate' in my conversation. Now, not always do I mean it. Come to think about it, there are a very few things I would hate ..more subtle and better is always ' do not like', 'dislike' ~~ but HATE !! It brings out a series of emotions of sorts...least for people around me, it does!

In the second week itself, I had committed the mistake for the first time. The girl in question was like, she does not wish to discuss this anymore. Though, the remaining us continued the conversation I realized I have hurt her strong views about something, by using the word 'HATE' I did apologize to her and made a note of not doing it again!!!

But darn..i did it again yesterday. Yesterday, the person in question buzzed me and requested not to talk such things about her 'daily strong beliefs' with adjectives like 'HATE'

Errr....now I was like....feeling bad and remorseful and at the same time, wondering whether there is a treatment for this disease that I suffer. I did go to her and sorted it out, the issue is at peace...but then, why did I do it again !!!!???

Its fine to have views and put them forward. But I need to learn to be subtle, to be more acceptable and may be see the kind of crowd in front of whom am talking! Phew!! Thank god am not a politician, would have landed in jail by now for my 'HATE' speeches!

Second mistake. Need to improve. Keep my strong views to myself. Need not be so explicit. Need to be 'choosy' while using harsh words. Lesson learnt. And should NOT be repeated.

Huh!! What a mess I create at times....

Addendum : There are people who does this, OMG !!


AnjuGandhi said...

Hi Pari, Thanx for visiting my blog and giving your valuable comments.
first i want to tell you i liked your name. I always wanted to name my daughter Pari but she has equaly affectionte name so no problem
regarding your post it is true people have two sets of values , one for themselves and one for others. They will pass comments, judgements on others but when others do it they dont like it.
so this is what life is about double standards.

Pari said...

Yeah, double standards and whole lot more....i feel double standards are fine if you have an accepting attitude along ! but sigh...people lack that !
And yes, neha is a sweet name :)

Shruti said...

I suffer from the same syndrome, I rarely express my opinions, but if I do, I state them really strongly, cos that is how I feel about them. Unfortunately, its not right. Or rather, its not tactical at all. And in the long run, one should learn to express opinions strongly without seeming to say words that inflict anger immediately :P

Still trying...if you get to know a way, don't forget to post about it!!! :D

Rambler said...

this reminds me so much of a period of time I used to hate myself for arguing. Sometimes it becomes tough to hold on to my views, all said very few people realize the discussions and arguments are about the topic and not necessarily with people

niki said...

in my view a debate is not a debate if you dont get involved emotionally...there is always emotion/s involved in a debate whether u like it or not :(

Pari said...

@ Shruti..yeah we need some therapy :) Expression opinions strongly and that too not with harsh words...damn, that's difficult!

@ rambler..exactly..sadly, people do not get this. And the thing is I can make mt friends see the point, but with colleagues that gets difficult..

@niki...Debates and emotions tend to go hand in hand, I have seen that over time. But even then, one must learn where to draw a line and not get hurt by someone else's comment or opinion.