April 25th, 2007 .....
This was the day i landed my feet again on indian soil last year.
Those long lines at the last minute to clear off the security seemed like hours, those tears, those warm hugs, those flowers, those cabs, that heat...man...i miss it all and how !!
April 28th, 2008......
Feeling terribly homesick.
Moreso because, my best friend needs me so badly right now and i can't be there !!!!!!!
She is going through one of the toughest phase of her life - she didn't tell me all the bad things that happened since the few days for the fear of spoiling my mood during my last exams and stuff, and today when i know them, there arises a guilt within me.
I wanna be with her, she needs some warm hugs...she needs me, she needs to open her heart out and oowwwww how this geographical distance sucks at such times ! just ask me how !!!!! I wish i can really do something about it, i really wish i could..........
When it comes to handling things like this, i always tend to do sick mistakes and tell some stupid things in the process - like yesterday while talking to her, and trying to cheer her up all i could say was, hey i am graduating !!!!
And now when i think about it - it dawns on me , what a selfish thing to say that was ....
Damn !!! I really am falling short of words to speak to her, somehow comfort her, cos i know words will fail me this time around. I need to be with her .... this so called 7500 miles are so far, it just pinches me each time something like this happens :(
What is more scary, the fact that i am gonna lead a life , where in there will 100 such incidents, when i cannot do things that i really want to do.....I am always thinking this, that i don't want to lead a life where i have to live with having many regrets for not doing things which were close to my heart !! And here @ usa.... this fear is just coming so true !!
Dad told me, if you have to achieve certain things, it comes with a cost ! It feels this cost is too much, is there really any alternative !
God, help me :(