Saturday, January 17, 2009

USA Diaries !

It has happened once again! I continue the streak of not getting sleep the night before I am flying home. Tossing and turning since 4 am I finally gave it up and got up at 6 am (without work!!!!) I fly home in the next 10 hours. This can't be bad. This can't be not happening. This can't be crazy. Right from answering the innumerable questions that people have had regarding my departure till the reconfirmation sent up to my own brain, I finally have reached the last leg of the journey. My bags as usual are overweight. I wonder why the little being of me, who can't even lift her own hand luggage always has got bags which she can't lift !! And surprisingly, after 5 move outs and 2 trips back home I still haven't touched or lifted any of those heavy bags. Yeah, Friends come to the rescue :) and am as usual so blessed for that.

Retrospecting the times and life here, I wonder why I am getting a feeling that this aint supposed to end like this. This has to go on...and somewhere something within me tells me it will. I will come back. I will be doing things I wished to do. My to do list has so many things that can be accomplished in this god damn country ! At the same time, this new phase of life has to be good. I am optimistic. To a certain extent, I am being emotional and trying to do things that would make me happy and not being practical at all. If someone were to take a EQ detector test on me, the machine would create crests and only crests. I really dont know is there anything called as right or wrong about the decision that I am taking, all I know is at the end of the day I am not going to regret being there or coming here.

I made some friends I will never forget, met few people whom I wish to forget, lost the strongest pillar of my life, got a post grad degree, saw the US of A ! I am not trying to weigh it out - but it hasnt been altogether bad either. Life's like that. Not everyone gets everything they want. And not everyone does not get everything they want. There are few people who falls in the 'been there - done that' types. I remember writing a post long time back which said at the end of the day I just wanna be me... Today, I am glad I am not just me!

I have become a stronger person (yeah, right physically too!) I have become a better person who at this age of life can tell that lessons of wisdom are good to learn. I am trying very hard to forgive, forget and move on..but am working on it. I have become a better controller for the situations and things around me. I can lead, I can be passive and I am a team worker too :D There were certain dreams I weaved and certain that saw the end of the day. There were a few which remain unfulfilled (like seeing Florida or Golden gate) and certain that crumbled in front of my eyes like a stack of cards and I felt helpless. I understood what it means by helpless, emotionless and selfless. Few of the hobbies I pursued, few such things I started to like (like blogging) and few I will still try to do. I realized that there lies a foodie in 8 outta 10 people. Either my friends in India weren't or the food in India wasn't that tempting :D I know the latter cannot be true, so lets stick to the former one.

All in all, while eating my last pint of Haagen-Dazs :((((( I would like to think, this was good. And there is never a never in life ! Things will be fine, as they were .. Life will be good ...and there again will come a bright new day. So many songs playing in my mind right now - Metallica - Wherever may i roam , John Denver - Countryroads, Shaan - Tanha Dil ! Make a fusion , and I will sing it out loud.

Back to India, back to Mumbai, back to traffic, back to pollution, back to crowd, back to trains, back to sweating, back to mulitple showers a day, back to Vada pav, back to Juhu beach, back to TV serials, back to caramel popcorn at theatres, back to chanachor, back to the place I belong ...back to home !!!!

Boston - I will miss you. Anywhere I roam ...Where I lay my head is home !

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