what are you?

no, that isn't a grammatically incorrect question?

i do not mean to ask, who or how are YOU? i mean to ask what are YOU?

this rant may be related to females based in india, or some other parts of the world where females are always ready to take the second step behind the male. and those females i ask, what are YOU!

i am not a feminist. the fact that one has to talk about females separately makes it a big deal, i mean one has a demarcation line only if there is a difference in both side of the fences. and i do not believe there is a difference. so this ain't about how males are being dominant and how they take females for a ride, it is about how females let them.

the female species have changed. and the modern female is no more shy of having things done her way or showing off her middle finger in public when harassed. but is this the case for all? the sex ratio in mumbai at present stands at ~840 females/1000 males. of these 840 females say 200 females would be the modern age ones - the one who might not be submissive and meek  the ones who believe in a ME. in an I. the one who does not become a THING for someone, just because their ancestors taught them so. or even if their parents  or mothers did not force that upon them, they become the male-worshiper kinds. no, i do not have an issue if YOU worship your male, but i have an issue that YOU do not worship YOURSELF.

YOU have come to this world with the same pain and hope that others have come along with. no one is taught to dream or laugh, it just comes. then why did YOU forget it? why did YOU let others decide YOUR happiness and where YOUR dreams should end? how can YOU let a male factor control everything in YOUR life? the trophy wife! even those are the ones who derive some pleasure of buying a sexy lingerie or go on a shopping escapade, to make SELF happy. why would YOU lose self? what has come to YOU?

females with an aim of getting married, producing beautiful kids with all five senses working, and then sacrificing their whole lives on ensuring that rest all get the best irks me. why would they lose themselves in this charade? why follow this pattern? a recent fire at Kolkatta, and a female cries and says now that my husband has died, what will happen of my life!? i agree. it is difficult. or yes even suicidal at times to think to live without a loved one, but do not lose self. do not lose the precious time that YOU have on this earth.

we are bestowed with so many abilities and capabilites that separates us from the lower forms of life. utilise it. to the fullest. do not surrender to someone or something so much so that you become a THING. a crowded mumbai station and a wife with 2 kids in tow forgets her way, so the husband comes from behind and slaps her, saying how could she lose her way. and she does not say a thing. who taught her to be so meek  when did she become such a pushover. why would she not stand up. what is it that stops her. why is she merely wasting her time on this planet by being something or someone that others want her to!

life is too short to do it. it is not that i will not surrender self to that somebody. but there will be a ME, alive and kicking. and till one breathes their last, that is how it should be!

Rise up. you, you and you.

Where does the mystery end?

Or rather begin?

Is it when the wailing kid is pulled out of the uterus and the mystery regarding the sex of the child ends?

Is it when the child blossoms to be a perfect young toddler and you are no longer worried whether all his five senses are in perfect order?

Is it when the school he has to go to is selected?

Or is it when he tells you he has a crush on this girl, and you are no longer worried about his sexual orientation?

Or may be it is when he passes out school with flying colours and tells you he has decided what he wants to do in life?

Or is it when he chooses a vocational field with so much of thought that leaves you with no longer care?


A very close person I know is going through a myriad of emotions right now, since her son might be taking off for further studies. And over a period of time, I have realized that her list of endless worries and mysteries regarding him cease to reduce, no matter what. It is like a cycle with no end. May the coming days bring some more cheer and reduce the tension in her life! Amen :)

Fear.

That grips. That transcends. That is unbelievable. That is not measured. That translates. That never understands. That is obnoxious. That is guilty. That is omnipresent. That is misunderstood. That is 'that'. That is verbose. That is mute. That is loud. That is finicky. That is obsessive. That is compulsive. That is reluctant. That is shy. That stops time.

That is unspoken of. Fear that exists.

The pink ribbon!

Things do not repel me easily. Or so I think. Bloody images, nasty scenes do not bring out a shriek or "oh my god" outta me, easily.
But just googling cancer images has left me speechless. Such gory images, such an ugly face this disease has!
I have a few close people who have been inflicted by this nasty disease...and after years of treatment and medications, they are still fighting against the disease.
I have known cancer as an "interesting field for study."  When I did my bit to eradicate cancer during my post graduation studies, I felt proud. The published papers and the dead mice played an unpleasant game in my mind, and each time I did something good (or so I felt) I used to feel I am just repaying the debt I own to the mice I killed!
No matter the available research, the literature, the disease remains yet to be eradicated. The chemotherapy kills the inflicted person. The side effects and the pain are so unpleasant.
It is not the cancer awareness month or anything, but I so am planting a pink ribbon on my dress today.
Dear God, do not spread this disease or the tumour. 

Doc, how much this costs?

This post on hospital charges and the awareness that doctors have about it, brings forward several questions from the Indian hospitals POV.

The author talks about how hospitalists are clueless about the charges levied for several tests, the cost of bed, treatments charges, etc. And, what I found interesting is, all the hospitalists think differently about charges.

I strongly feel that the scenario is India is different. The main reason being people are skeptical to visit hospitals and doctors. The emergence and trust that people in the rural area have on Ayurved doctors and vaids is one of the reasons. They charge less, do not inject, and can speak in a language they can understand. This is a major hurdle for certain treatments to reach to them. Doctors in India are aware of the illiterate mass of the country, and they try their best to educate and make them understand of what services they are gonna offer them. Doctors and care takers in India are aware of the cost and the way the treatment might affect the patient pockets. If health insurance were to permeate the population faster and deeper, the scenario might change. But currently, yes, Indian doctors are aware of what they might be charging the patient, and the reasons being:

- We have a larger base of self-pay patients. When the patient is paying on his own, the doctor probably, thinks twice before asking him to undergo certain tests which can be cut out, more so in cases when the patient is from a middle-class family or poor.

- When the patient is hospitalised under the cashless treatment {I have experienced this} the doctors and the nurses beside the patient order medicine, drugs and the equipment in amounts more than absolutely essential. The reason being, they know the patient is not paying from his pocket, these equipment and medicine are covered under his insurance, and this also keeps the doctor in charge a bit at ease about thinking what he needs to cut down on, or whether a low-costing drug is essential?
Example: The recklessness {might be a harsh word} shown during the experience that I am talking about, made the pharmacy bill so huge. Nurses who came in to give medicine time-to-time prescribed them in packs more than required. If they could not locate one pill, they would immediately order another. By the end of the hospital stay I had a stackful of packs wherein only one pill was used, and were not even required nomore. This shows, that they know what the cost of pharmacy supplies is, and somehow they were at ease due to the cashless tag on my file.

- Another good case in point. While admitting my dad for a surgery recently, the doctor in charge advised us to go for a class which was not expensive as the deluxe one and she went on to explain that the difference in services was not much, and even how much better is a room with a bed of two. This shows, the expert doc was not only aware of the costs, but also the difference offered in services. I was really impressed by this particular situation.

- Doctors in hospitals, like the big ones such as Lilavati, Hinduja, Bombay hospital, are generally aware of how much the diagnostic tests cost. I have seen doctors announcing the cost of the test while prescribing the same to patients. This puts the patient at ease, he knows the doctor is definitely advising him something he knows the patient can afford and also that the doctor is very sure of what he is asking the patient to do.

This situation in the Indian hospitals and hospitalists will change to an extent only when health insurance further penetrates the population. People do stay away from hospitals due to huge bills that they might have to pay. Docs would become less aware of the costs only when some of these were to happen:

- When the mass would be more reachable to various treatments and care.

- When health would become a priority for the major part of the population, and people would be keeping a health budget in their yearly expenses.

- When people would look at health and medicines as a priority, they would not shun visiting doctors and hospitals with the fear of cost and hospital stays.

All in all, from what I am to believe, the quality of treatment is never compromised even in this situation. Doctors might consider giving a poor patient a low-cost drug, but he would definitely not skip the same. He may ask you to get a CT scan or MRI done from a government institute, but he would not ask you to skip the same altogether. There are several such institutes in Mumbai that I know of. Thus, the Indian doctor and hospitalists are aware of what they are charging, and it would be interesting to see how the scenario might change once health insurance seeps in, number of self-paying patients decrease, and once the ratio of doctor: patient reaches an unmanagable number.